Mind over matter! Ego & Emotional reactions Vs Mindfulness.

This weekend is the summer (or winter) solstice, depending on where you are located, and I have been feeling all week like there have been sources beyond the physical that have been trying their best to get at me. To lower my vibration and bring me down into what I call my Ego-mind, where you buy into jealousy and all of the other emotional thinking pathways and your actions are dictated to by these emotions.

Now hear me out, I know that, once again you are probably thinking "this chick is on the disco biscuits" but not so, and here is why.

I am absolutely convinced that I am not the only person on this wonderful planet who can be completely reactionary when it comes to navigating the daily (and sometimes hourly) bumps of life.

For example, if you stub your toe, you are more than likely going to spout a few profanities at the inanimate object that dared to get in your way before rubbing it and walking away. Am I right? Yep, we have all been there. However that reaction, that anger, is a complete ego-mind emotional (and perhaps irrational) response to a very ordinary circumstance.

This is a very human reaction, because stubbing your toe, bruised the ego-mind and you are not happy about it.

I have started catching myself and trying to take the initial, emotional response out of things, whereby I can better see the situation for what it is and therefore deal with it in a better manner. This is not always possible but for the most part, it absolutely is.

This week, leading into solstice, I have felt like there has been a "drainer" on my energy from somewhere out there. It has felt like things have been thrown my way to test me, to try and bring me down, to lower my vibration and going back 12 months, I would have been ranting and raving around the house like a veritable madwoman. I would have had the "storm clouds brewing" as my husband would say, and my entire aura & energy would have shifted. But I have been consciously thinking about my reactions and catching myself, before I "go off on one" and really thinking about what it is I am reacting to. When I really break it down, it is the ego. I am reacting to what I perceive as a dent to the ego, and my ego-mind doesn't really like that much. However, as I say to myself (literally, I will sit in a quiet space and actually say the words) "Is this situation worth my anger & emotions", usually the answer will be no. In addition to this, when I have felt under attack for various reasons; I have said over and over to myself, "Was this intentional/was it intentionally done to hurt you" and again, the answer has inevitably been no. Therefore, breaking that right down to the most basic level; if it is/was unintentional and therefore deemed not worth my anger, then I will refuse to give it the time and energy that the ego would normally demand which meant that I moved straight past it. Following this, I have found that I have stayed really grounded throughout all of the ups and downs this week and have not had any of the usual ruminating anxiety. I have not held onto any anger or frustration. I have glided right through it.

OOOOH, NOW THIS IS A NEW FEELING. I LIKE IT!

What I have done however, as I have felt like there has been an aura thief on the loose in my environment, I have decided for the whole weekend (friday to monday) that I am going social media free. This includes Whatsapp. The moment that I deleted the apps so I would not be tempted, I instantly felt better. I felt a layer of anxiety lift and I had the best sleep that I have had in ages. Just by deleting the apps, I felt the shift.

The reason I also deleted Whatsapp, even though it is a messaging service, is because I am part of many different groups, where messages are flying back and forth throughout the night (especially with friends and family across the planet), and where I would normally wake up to about 100 or so unread messages in the morning. Also, a few of the things that were happening this week involved people and places that are in my messages, so I felt as though THAT was the first thing that had to go for me to reclaim my sanity. Again, I slept like a log, and for once, I did NOT check my phone, as soon as I opened my eyes. AMAZING!

I have since spent the day in the garden, doing the weeding and strimming and mowing the lawn. Connecting to nature and giving love to my ever-improving garden. I feel relaxed, I feel happy.

Back to my point about elevating and not reacting in an ego-centric, emotional manner; as many readers of this blog know, I have been trying to build my brand such that all of the projects that I am embarking on are all centrally linked to the one ethos. THis week I have felt like that has been under attack, whether intentionally or not. I have poured my heart and soul into this site, into my travel business, my Brand Instagram, TikTok and YouTube channels. This week however I have felt like there are others out there who were trying to take "chunks" out of me and diminish or dilute my brand (and therefore me). Because I have put so much of myself into it, my initial reaction was to get upset and get angry and to even start considering a rebrand; until I caught mysef in that moment.

IS WHAT IS HAPPENING, INTENTIONAL AND TARGETED?

No, it isn't, when my rational mind looked at it again. I took it that way initially, which is why my initial reaction was emotional, but when I really looked at it, it was not directed at me. I reasoned that others will do what they will do with only themselves in mind. More often than not, there will be no (or little) consideration given to other people when someone is making a choice to do something. Only how it affects themselves. That is just a fact of life, whether we like it or not. Let's be frank and honest about it.

IS IT WORTH MY EMOTIONS AND ENERGY?

No, it isn't because it is not intentional and targeted, and there is little if anything I can do about it. Therefore expending those emotions and energy will not change or affect anything. It will be what it will be.

Once I got into that state of mind, that way of thinking about it, the clarity that I had was unbelievable. It allowed me to move past the issues, to not hold onto any resentment or anger and it cleared the mental "storm clouds" away.

I am going to intentionally practice this every day. I will endeavour to shift my mindset away from being ego-centric and into mindfullness when circumstances arise, as they do. I know that this isn't going to be as easy as it sounds, but I think that you have to start with the intention and from there it takes practice.

All I can say is that after 3 days (and the socials detox) I actually feel much better. Grounded and calm and without the usual FOMO/anxiety/pressure that feels ever present these days. Without even knowing it, it is easy to get stuck in that doom loop.

I hope that this might resonate with you, that somewhere in this story you can recognise something in yourself where you could benefit from it. That is my hope and sincerest intention.

Take care and Big Ol' Hugs,

The Cotswolds Girl