THAT feeling....like trying to sprint in water!

I started the year (2026) setting intentions rather than resolutions which I found much more empowering than trying to hold myself to a set of rules, which resolutions generally tend to feel like; and so far everything has started well. However, over the past month or two, I have been feeling like I have been putting in a huge amount of effort to move things in a positive way, but it feels slow. It feels "heavy" and it feels, as the title describes, like sprinting in water. All the effort and none of the movement.

It is that frustration that has then fed upon itself, making me work twice as hard to see some progress, and consequently wearing me out twice as quickly. Unfortunately impatience is in my nature...it just is what it is.

Now this might sound like complete quackery to you, but I feel like, at this time in my life that I am on the cusp of something great. I feel like I am coming into my own and that life, career, situation is about to take off. That is the energy and the vibration that I am feeling, but it feels "stuck" in some regards. Again, the impatient girl in me wants to to happen NOW, and I have been spinning my wheels trying to speed things up but this has caught me operating in a state of "lack" or desperation if you want to put it another way.

When you operate in this state, you will manifest exactly that. Things will BE hard, you WILL struggle and you WILL feel that anxiety and stress.

To this end, I have been really focussing on making sure that I am meditating on this and being consciously aware of when I am in that headspace and actively getting myself out of that mindset. Abundance is the key, feeling like you have everything that you need, it being all inside of you but just requiring you to tap into it. In this day and age, it is so easy to operate on a daily basis in the "lack" mindset. You NEED this because X, Y and Z have it. It is too easy, almost default these days with all of the social media & advertising to feel like that. THE RETAIL & CONSUMER INDUSTRIES WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE THAT, but what it does is destroy your sense of being enough. Now this is NOT a rant about consumerism, capitalism or any such BS that I just don't buy into, this is about being a real person, living life every day, feeling stuck and not feeling like I am/have enough.

PSSSST...... I have a secret for you! Just as you are, in this very moment. Whatever you have, wherever you are, it is enough.

So, back to the topic at hand, I have been consciously trying to change my mindset because when I feel stuck, the energy doesn't flow. What has happened since then, is that we have made the decision to step away from the pressure of having a family and are chosing to be childfree. Having made that decision, my whole persona changed. Suddenly I felt lighter, I felt as if a 50kg backpack had been taken off my back. My outlook on my relationship with my husband changed and the anxiety around the physical side of things suddenly evaporated. When the pressure is taken off, when the weight of expectation is removed, the WHOLE WORLD looks and feels completely different. I stepped into a better version of my self in that instant.

The other fantastic consequence of making that decision was then, being able to take charge of my physical state and decide that all of the focus that was put into IVF and getting pregnant will be focussed on getting fit and being the best version of myself I can be.

During the IVF process, I put on nearly 25kgs and HATED the way I looked and felt. I felt ugly, fat, unsexy, undesirable. That coupled with the unsuccessful pregnancy attempts, really damaged my mental health and self esteem. I was in a really bad place and couldn't see a way out of it. My relationship with my husband was suffering, my work was suffering and I recognized that my personality had actually changed, and not for the better

I left all of that behind when I made the choice to move away from having a family, and as of today (April 2026) I have lost 30kgs, I have completely changed my headspace and outlook on life and as a result, I am a MUCH BETTER PERSON in character and spirit.

Now that I have raised my frequency and I am on a new path, I am still waiting for things to start moving. I am STILL WAITING for my TV debut to air (supposed to be between now and June), so that I can put the credits out there to get MORE of that kind of work, which is what I see in my future. I have started a Travel business (Links on this website) which I am trying to get off the ground, and am waiting for that to take off on the back of the work I am putting into training and developing it's online marketing presence. I am so excited about these things, I just want it to happen NOW, so again, the impatient girl in me is stomping her foot and having a mini-tantrum about the slow timing! But, I know that things will happen exactly at the time they are meant to, so I have been catching myself in those moments and taking a breath, to remove the anxiety and welcome in the trust in the universe.

Soon, it will all happen and will all fall into place soon. HAVE FAITH....and I keep telling myself that. Everything in it's own time.

OK, so over to you Universe.....the control-freak in me is letting go and putting the timing in your hands. Please don't let me down!

Key take aways that I have learned:

1) No matter how much you do, there are some things that you cannot control. Learn to take a breath and trust that it will work out exactly as it is meant to.

2) Step away from what you feel is "expected" of you, and really understand what it is that you want. Take the time and do the work to understand yourself. Sit in your own space, which might be uncomfortable for some, and really go deep and ask yourself the questions.

Take care and Big Ol' Hugs

TCG xxx